Why Your Dog's 'Safe Space' Isn't Actually Safe (Yet)

Imagine this. You’ve got a party planned for the weekend. It’s been on the calendar for weeks, all the snacks have been bought, and the guest list is finalized. You then look down at your anxious dog who has stranger danger and you think, “now all I need to do is figure out how to make things easy for you.”

You go to the handy dandy internet and search something like “how to keep my dog calm during a party” and you see a plethora of options like put in a room or crate with a lick mat or puzzle feeder. Seems simple enough right? You have all the materials for that so off to the kitchen you go to start prepping those lick mats.

Then the day of the party comes. You put your dog in a room with all of the enrichment items you’ve prepped, shut the door, and head down to start letting people in.

It’s not long after that your dog starts barking and whining. Then they start scratching at the door and barking louder. You go to check on them and they haven’t even touched any of the enrichment items. You decide you need to keep them from scratching up the doorframe so you bring them to where the people are at, but now they are barking and jumping on people and pacing non-stop. So you add this technique to the list of things that didn’t work for you and your dog. How frustrating.

Another failed internet suggestion

Let’s start with why it didn’t work. Not every suggestion the internet gives you is going to be right for your dog. There are so many variables that come into play when it comes to helping your dog through the stress of strangers being in the house. Never interacting with the enrichment items alone before, or at least not in the room you’ve now shut them in can be reasons to not settle. It’s possible they have never associated the room or space with being calm, and now their stress levels are off the charts with having people in the house- so calming down isn’t something they can even come close to doing.

The internet is going to give you a blanket response that “should work” in the perfect world. But you don’t live in a perfect world and your dog is an individual so blanket suggestions aren’t always going to be the right decision.

With that being said, you’re probably wondering what the heck you do for next time?

You build them a safe space.

Building a space where your dog feels comfortable to hang out in can take time. So the sooner you start, the better. It’s not a quick fix, but once your dog loves their safe space, it’ll make your life and theirs so much better.

For starters…what is a safe space?

Tigerlily rests on one of her many safe space in the living room.

A safe space is a place or a spot your dog can go to decompress and avoid things that bother them. It’s a place where they can let all their stress go and relax.

A safe space can be built in a variety of places. Crate, bedroom, mat, couch, car, etc. Any spot where your dog has enough room to get comfy cozy. 

What a safe space isn’t

It’s not a space you send your dog to when they are “bad” and should never be used as punishment. Nor should you ever use it as a place to trap them so you can do something aversive like nail trims, wipe their muddy paws, or get the poop off their butt.

When they choose to go to this spot, all things they find aversive or stressful should stop. Almost like their own version of sanctuary. There are some things in the environment we might not be able to actually control, like thunderstorms, so we do the best we can to make the safe space the most comfortable for them. For things like sound sensitivities you can use sound masking with different music or colored noises to block out things like voices or thunder.

How to get started

Your dog’s choices need to be acknowledged in building their space. If they don’t like it then it’s not going to serve the purpose to meet your goals. Before we get into the actual building and training portion, think of all the things your dog likes or enjoys doing when they are getting ready to lay down and chill out. 

In the next post, we’ll walk through how to take these choices and turn them into the perfect safe space that your dog can retreat to during your next party.